Sat on the edge of the parapet as I smoked, Graham didn’t notice me when he came out. I watched his back for a moment as he stared out into the dark. Rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, he looked exhausted. I started to feel bad for spying on him.
I cleared my throat, and he turned around. “Oh,” he said. “I didn’t know you were here.”
I offered the cigarette, and after a moment’s hesitation he came over and sat next to me, accepting it. As he puffed, I wanted to say, “So it all ends tomorrow, huh?” I wanted to say, “This might be the last time we see each other alive.” I wanted to say, “Evil wizard, right? Who would have thought.” It was all pointless, anyway, redundant by now. It wouldn’t make anything better, and it reminded me how much I wanted to talk to someone, how much I needed to know that there was someone else breathing beside me. Would he see it as weakness?
Lightning flashed in the distance. The thunder came later, rolling through the silence between us.
“You want to say something,” Graham said, leaning his head against the wall behind us. “You’d better say it now.”
I shouldn’t say this. He wouldn’t appreciate it, I knew. But he was right, this was my last chance, and if he got pissed, well then I wouldn’t have to deal with it for very long.
“You and Abby should leave tonight, while there’s still time. You have a baby on the way, no one expects you to fight when you, more than the rest of us, have something to live for.”
He returned the cigarette, and after a moment I started to wonder if he wasn’t going to answer.
“We talked about it,” he said finally. “Neither of us will be able to live with ourselves if we run, if we abandon the rest of you. And how can we raise a child to be honorable, to be true to their values if we can’t ourselves? We’ve managed to make it this far in life with few regrets. This will not be among them. Thank you, Siv, but we’re staying right here.”
I closed my eyes briefly. “I would have liked to meet the child.”
He smiled a little. “We would have made you godmother, you know. Abby wouldn’t hear of anyone else.”
I felt tears unexpectedly spring to my eyes, but I wouldn’t let him see. “An honorary title, then.”
“For tonight,” he said wistfully. “I’ll be a father. You’ll be a godmother.”
I couldn’t muster a smile. I nudged him with my shoulder. “You should go be with your wife.”
He nodded, and stood with some effort. “Goodnight, Siv.”
“Goodnight, Graham.”